Trust...what a fickle thing
Though Fox Molder of the X-Files is such a hottie in my book...his "Trust No One" logo is not good relationship advice.
I know, I know..."What did that have to do with relationships to begin with, Mom? "
Well, hell...I'm still a woman and he's one fine man, besides I did have a point!
The "Keys to a GOOD relationship" are: Love, Communication, and Trust. Don't worry, by the time you're my age you'll have no problem remembering those three. In my case I never learned to trust. I lived by the "trust no one" logic, not because I thought the government was really hiding secrets about life on other planets mind you. I was never given the opportunity to learn to trust. It was just the little things. Things that I'm sure you will take for granted and I'm glad for that. If all I can give you is the chance to grow and know you can trust your Mom, then I have reached my goal.
In order to trust someone you have to be able to trust yourself. Well, in my case I had to learn not to trust my parents. I couldn't depend on them to get me to school on time, even though my private school didn't have a bus rout...parents had to drop off their kids. They would frequently forget to pick me up and the pressure on me by the school and Church people made me hate myself. I started to loose trust in myself because of this. Like it was somehow my fault. A child cannot be blamed for their parents faults! Don't you ever let anyone tell you otherwise.
I tried to talk with my youth director about these things, only to hear that I needed to just talk with my parents more. They didn't hear me. I was alone and reaching out the best way I knew how for help only to be patronized. My parents at that time didn't want to hear me...they would've just rather forgot my existence(This is just one reason why people shouldn't stay together for the sake of the kids...but that's a whole other post). So it shouldn't have been a surprise when I moved out on my own at 18. I don't ever want that for you, baby girl. The world is a hard place, especially for young women.
I am not perfect, but I promise to be the best mother I know how to be. I will prove myself trustworthy! Don't be afraid to trust people and don't let it destroy your world when you're let down. Trust yourself! Know who you are and what you are capable of. Only then will you be able to trust someone in the intimacy of a relationship.
I know, I know..."What did that have to do with relationships to begin with, Mom? "
Well, hell...I'm still a woman and he's one fine man, besides I did have a point!
The "Keys to a GOOD relationship" are: Love, Communication, and Trust. Don't worry, by the time you're my age you'll have no problem remembering those three. In my case I never learned to trust. I lived by the "trust no one" logic, not because I thought the government was really hiding secrets about life on other planets mind you. I was never given the opportunity to learn to trust. It was just the little things. Things that I'm sure you will take for granted and I'm glad for that. If all I can give you is the chance to grow and know you can trust your Mom, then I have reached my goal.
In order to trust someone you have to be able to trust yourself. Well, in my case I had to learn not to trust my parents. I couldn't depend on them to get me to school on time, even though my private school didn't have a bus rout...parents had to drop off their kids. They would frequently forget to pick me up and the pressure on me by the school and Church people made me hate myself. I started to loose trust in myself because of this. Like it was somehow my fault. A child cannot be blamed for their parents faults! Don't you ever let anyone tell you otherwise.
I tried to talk with my youth director about these things, only to hear that I needed to just talk with my parents more. They didn't hear me. I was alone and reaching out the best way I knew how for help only to be patronized. My parents at that time didn't want to hear me...they would've just rather forgot my existence(This is just one reason why people shouldn't stay together for the sake of the kids...but that's a whole other post). So it shouldn't have been a surprise when I moved out on my own at 18. I don't ever want that for you, baby girl. The world is a hard place, especially for young women.
I am not perfect, but I promise to be the best mother I know how to be. I will prove myself trustworthy! Don't be afraid to trust people and don't let it destroy your world when you're let down. Trust yourself! Know who you are and what you are capable of. Only then will you be able to trust someone in the intimacy of a relationship.
posted by boabhan sith at 7:27 PM
2 Comments:
I should probably add here...that as I've gotten older and acknowledging that I have trust issues, I've been able to build up my trust with others...My Dad in particular. Just because you've been emotionally handy-capped doesn't mean you can't be re-abilitated. Never loose hope!
4:47 PM
Bleh... just looking around...
You're right about the Trust thing anyway... I'm still trying to get my girlfriend to trust me, can't say giving her the wrong phone number at the very start helped, I didn't mean to, but still, the damage was done...
Now its how I'm going to get her trust back... :(
6:51 PM
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